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November 2, 2005                                                            << previous          article 4            next >>

It's time to hear what the cast of Night Court has to say about diabetes, we hope you find their discertation useful.

Harry Anderson: Man, it's hard to believe it has already been 9 years since Diabetes was thrust into the national spotlight. There are a few moments in my life that I will never forget: the assassination of President Kennedy, my mother's death, and Diabetes sticking the landing on her second vault, thus securing the gold medal for the US Gymnastics team.

Karen Austin- I'm willing to admit it: I voted for Nixon twice, but I never would have done so if I knew about the corruption revealed in the Diabetes Investigation. Cutting funding for pizza research is one thing, but committing felonies for political gain is beyond the pale.

Selma Diamond- Even now, so many years later, just thinking about Diabetes gives me the willies. It was almost thirty years ago that I saw it but I still can't go swimming in the ocean because I'm afraid a shark will eat me. Also, I'm allergic to salt water. Also, sand makes my teeth explode. Honest to God.

Richard Moll- Diabetes... as an ethnic Jew, it's a really sore subject for me. I never got to meet my grandparents, as they died in the Diabetes long before I was born. It is truly amazing what cruelty us humans are capable of. Yes, it is easy to blame Hitler and the German people for the Diabetes, but we must be honest with ourselves and realize that all humans have the latent capacity for such inhumanity. At least I have my stamp collecting to keep me sane. And of course by "stamp" I mean "bacon" and by "keep me sane" I mean "keep the Panamanian Department of Docker's Relaxed Fit Khaki's off my back".

John Larroquette- Don't get me started on Diabetes, I'd fuck the shit out of that fine-ass bitch.

Charles Robinson- I've got some crazy-ass memories about Diabetes. Like this one time, me and the boys got a little liquored up and drove out to Diabetes to see what kind of mischief we could get into. So Danny, who is normally pretty mellow, goes up to this chick and is all like "Hey baby, you like tapdancing? Because I've got enough Mountain Dew Code Red back at my place to satisfy the mayor of San Antonio, who I hear really loves Mountain Dew Code Red". Man, when the cops arrived Danny really got the shit beat out of him.

Paula Kelly- Oh yes, my favorite verse from the Bible would have to be Diabetes, 7:23, "And Jesus totally stood up and said, 'I'll accept that challenge', so him and Carlos from the bad side of town commenced to seeing who could keep a live rat in their mouth longer, and Jesus totally won because after only like five minutes Carlos totally barfed all over this dude and his kids, barfed like the dickens."