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2005-2007 www.TheDailyComics.com

February 23, 2005                                                            << previous          article 15            next >>


"Now I support diversity as much as anyone, but there is no way they should be allowing a calzone stand at this year's "Hamburger Jamboree". If we let this happen, who knows what will come next, they might even start allowing boysenberries at the annual "Mulberry Festival". I'm trying to raise a child for God's sake!"
-Brittany Crawfish

"It seems that Councilman Williams has time for an extramarital affair, but not enough time to fix the potholes on Main Street. Maybe if the honorable Councilman could get his mind out of the gutter and onto potholes we could all breathe a little easier. But hey, that's just my two cents."
-Gregory Sandlewood

"I've been a subscriber and an avid reader of your newspaper for over twenty years and have long admired your journalistic integrity and commitment to this fair town of ours. This makes me all the more confused by today's front page article titled: "Was Jesus a Jew? New Research Says: Think Again, Kikes". Not only was this article highly offensive to me as the son of a Holocaust survivor, but the writer's definition of "research" seems to be "conversations with drunk skinheads". I await your paper's return to decency."
-Andrew Steinberg

"The naysayers can say "nay" all they want, but this year's "Hamburger Jamboree" is going to be the best one since the "Night of 10,000 Hamburgers" in 1982. You best hold on to your hat, because this year we've got so many varieties of burger that your head will spin. Also, you can rest assured that all grills will be thoroughly inspected before they are allowed on the fairgrounds, we will not see a repeat of last year's "Evening of Seventeen Grill Fires"."
-Alaina Billings (Chairman of "Hamburger Jamboree" Committee)

"Well, it seems spring is approaching. The snow is melting, the trees are budding, and once again Mayor Maxwell has rolled out a new set of tax hikes. Newsflash, Mayor "Tax-swell", some of us have to work for a living and have more important things to spend our money on than fixing potholes for the bigwigs on Main Street. But heck, what do I know, I'm just a voter and a taxpayer."
-Reuben Nisbett

"Now I'm a firm believer in presenting different viewpoints and having a vigorous debate of issues, but your opinion page yesterday was simply beyond the bounds of civil discussion. What kind of point/counterpoint is it when one side is arguing that we need to send all the blacks (not the term you used) back to Africa and the other side argues that we need to throw them all in the ocean? Where was the side arguing that African Americans be given the same rights and respect as all Americans? I think I am not alone in wishing to hear that side of the debate."
-Sarah Kingston

"Last night I tried your recipe for Grandma's Three Meat Lasagna and almost burned down my house. Are you certain that the recipe requires "6 cups of AA batteries"?"
-Jenny Whittaker

"I may not agree with everything you write, but I am glad to see a newspaper with the balls to take an unpopular stand and to do so loudly and unequivocally. It's unfortunate that no other news source has the balls to take on volatile issues like Jewish bankers funding baby-eating initiatives. I like you guys, keep up the good work and the good balls."
-Alonzo Radcliffe

Editor's Notes:
* It has come to my attention that yesterday a renegade paperboy delivered copies of "The Aryan Star Tribune" to subscribers on his route rather than our own paper, "The Franklin Gazette". I wish to apologize for any confusion or inconvenience this may have caused.
* Yesterday's paper featured a recipe for Grandma's Three Meat Chili which listed among the ingredients "6 cups of AA batteries". This was a mistake, as it should have read "2 cups of AAAAAA batteries".