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November 24, 2005                                                            << previous          article 11           next >>

Sandwich Quartely is proud to present 2005's "Ten Sandwiches to Watch this Year". Don't be surprised to find these sandwiches under your tree come Christmas.

Ham and Cheese 3000- Perhaps you have eaten a ham and cheese sandwich before, and maybe you think you know everything there is to know about them. If so, be prepared to be knocked from your high horse. First off, this is no ordinary ham, rather it is ham which has been coated in the purest of gold and the rarest of jewels. Rather than simple American or Cheddar cheese, this sandwich utilizes a cheese cultured from dragon milk. Also, the bread is constantly on fire.

The Big Kentucky- Ever had your ass kicked by a sandwich? The Big Kentucky is going to kick your ass. The Big Kentucky is a sandwich.

The Anti-Sandwich- What's that, a piece of bread between two pieces of meat is not a sandwich? The Anti-Sandwich doesn't need your corporate bullshit, this sandwich plays by its own rules. Go brainwash another sandwich, this one sees through your lies.

The Spaniard- Ooh la la, who is that mysterious sandwich off in the distance? That sandwich, my friend, is The Spaniard.

The World War II Memorial Sandwich- The perfect way to honor all the brave Americans who served in WW2. Every bite of this hefty sandwich tastes like the death of thousands of Japanese civilians. This is a sandwich made of corpses (this sandwich is awesome).

The BLTSXHCDTPNC- Step aside BLT, this new sandwich consists of Bones, Lightning, Terror, Sphinxes, X-rays, Hamburgers, Coolio, Danger, Tacos, Platinum, Nigeria, and Cabbage. This is the kind of sandwich the BLT would be if its mother hadn't drank while she was pregnant.

Ghost Sandwich- Legend tells of a sandwich from the Civil War which, when leaving home for the battlefront, promised his wife that he would return. It is rumored that this sandwich still wanders the countryside searching for his home.

The Nicholai Tesla- Sandwich makers in Europe have long been working on the next generation of sandwich and many are claiming that The Nicholai Tesla is the sandwich that will lead us into the future. This sandwich, unlike its predecessors, abandons such outmoded ingredients as bread and cheese in favor of microchips and electicity. This sandwich has redefined such concepts as "food", "sandwich", and "dying of malnutrition". You will die if you eat this sandwich.

My Sandwich- What? Oh, this sandwich, it's just something I whipped up in the kitchen this morning. No you can't have a bite, I'm hungry, get your own sandwich. I'm a jerk? You're the one trying to take my sandwich.